A New Year

2016 was a big year. I turned 23, celebrated a year of life for Thatcher and a year of motherhood for me, and found out we would be adding another member to our family. Last year was a tough one too. I worried too much and slept too little, thinking about things out of my control. But 2016 was also amazing. I got to watch my baby become his own little person with his own (Big) personality. I've never felt so much love in my life and I don't know how I will be able to hold even more this year. 

The big lesson I learned in 2016 was about perspective. I have a new mind, and I've tossed out a lot of distraction and old beliefs, but that came with a sobering dose of reality. My eyes are open to the hurt and suffering like never before. I no longer believe my prayers will contribute, so what can I do that will? I'm still working on that one, but I want to make more of an impact, instead of taking the easy route that helps me sleep better at night.

Perspective let's me know when I am selfish. I try to hold my tongue when I start to complain about something stupid and childish. I still fail, and that's okay. It's not long after these complaints that I remind myself that I have everything in the world that could bring me happiness. 

A lot of days, it seemed cynicism was the theme for my year, because I gained a lot of it, but I think it better balanced things for me. I decided to take a huge step back in my business and focus on whats best for my family. It's been a little scary at times, as I fear if I will have a place in the market when I return, but this is something I have done more than once so I know it's possible. 

I'm not going to lie, I still need a little perspective for 2017. It may be the year we get a cartoon character for president, I have two kids under two, and I have to rebuild a stalled career. But with a little perspective, it's a year I live in a country where I can say whatever I want about our president, when I am blessed with another little perfect human, and where I have the opportunity and support from an amazing husband to restart my career.

 Oh and I get to spend it with this little boy, so can I really complain?