My love of photography started with conceptual art. Before I tried my own hand in photography, I followed photographers on Flickr and was always amazed at what they could make out of a couple ordinary pictures. Unfortunately, conceptual is my weakest point of my art. No matter how technical, non-technical, focused, or precise I get about it, it never turns out as I hope.
I realize a humans, we have these concepts in our mind of how our life will play out, and what we want to succeed. Despite the fact that we know life will run it's own course, we want so badly to believe it will go as we plan. I look up to other photographers and wonder if I will ever be at their level, then I read of them hoping to one day be at someone else's level. It's a scary and relieving thought. I will always feel this way, craving to be on a bigger level, but I know it is normal and good. It is what keeps daring photographers great, when the comfortable ones decide to stay as they are.
Lately, I have felt free. I am allowing myself to ease into life. I am okay with where I am for now, because I know I'm constantly moving in a positive direction. I feel proud of myself, but extremely humbled for how blessed I am and where I can go. I realize it's okay to take things slower, but that I've already accomplished a lot in my young nineteen years of age. I've met my standards even if they're not everyone else's. I've never felt better about my future, and the fact that it could go in any direction. I've allowed myself to stop trying to be on another's level and just use it for what it is, art and expression.